Stuck at the airport . . .

And it feels pretty crummy. I got here about 6 hours to ago and i have at least another 2 hours to wait. Something on the plane was broken so now that the new part is here they are working to fix it. Although its no fun being here I'm glad its getting fixed before this really long flight.

Airports are weird for me. When I fly back and forth from San Diego to Sacramento I always seem to have good feelings about it and am almost always in a good mood. Maybe its because during these times I'm flying back and forth between my two families and my two homes. I know that in either place I will find people who love me, people who make me happy. But right now, and the other times I've flown internationally, its a whole different story. The first time I flew to BsAs I was mostly scared (understandable though). Coming back was sadness. At the time the pain of saying goodbye outweighed the excitement of going home. Today, I guess i feel like I'm in limbo. I'm not too sad to leave Cali. I know I will miss my friends and my family but I know that they will be here when I get back and hopefully a few of them will actually make it down. I also feel an absence of excitement. . . . . it sounds so wrong I know. I am going back to an amazing city that I love, I get to see friends that are very special to me, its a new semester at a new university, I'm going to be traveling all over the place and having all new experiences . .. . the list could go on and on. I just don't feel the excitement that I know I should feel.

Maybe it is because I know that things are completely different than when I left. Change is never easy, especially when its people and their situations that change. This probably doesn't make sense. I just know that I am sad but I just can't figure out what part of all this is causing it. Ehh, it could just be the sleep deprivation catching up with me. I'm gonna sleep a lot and when I wake up I will be in a new (sort of) city, starting a whole new chapter of my life. Here goes.